"It's amazing. Perfect. Not a piece missing. Total in every way. Outstanding. Yeah. You really are... a complete cunt."
or click here"...And that's how you get wood lice in your crotch. True."
or click here
I wish I'd heard the beginning of that story, so I'd know how to avoid getting wood lice in my crotch. For those of you not up on your entomology, here's a wood louse. We've got loads of them in the UK. It's like an armadillo the size of your pinky fingernail, but creepy:
Looks like a pillbug. Also called a sowbug. Why, I don't know. The pill makes sense because they roll up and look like a pill. I used to call them rolly-pollies.
ReplyDeleteWe called them roly-polys too (I'm from Texas). Loved making little cities full of them!
DeleteYeah, a pillbug's the same thing as a woodlouse. I think they're kinda cute, actually.
ReplyDeleteAdam's son likes to collect them and make villages, so I've gotten used to them.
ReplyDeleteIn my flat I kill at least one woodlouse a week. I tend to find them on my bathroom floor, as apposed to my crotch.
ReplyDeleteId been wondering for a while what the proper name for the bally bugs was! Never had them in my crotch, though...
ReplyDeleteThe first one should be a V-day card. Or perhaps another kind of card. You open it up to reveal what is said after the ellipse.
ReplyDeleteThey get big. Search for: giant isopod.
ReplyDeleteHe was speaking in English English and he said "crutch" not "crotch". Crutches used to be made of wood so that makes a bit more sense.
ReplyDeleteawww.. I like pillbugs!
ReplyDeleteIs that what they're called. They're everywhere here in florida.. I never knew the name, so i called um rolly polys.
ReplyDelete