Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts. Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam. Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)
These two quotes came out the night after Adam's surgery to remove his lymph node. It's generally not a good idea to abuse your surgeon, so I'm glad STM held off until he was in his own bed, rather than coming out with these while on the slab.
"How am I? How am I? I'm in a fucking hospital and I don't work here! Stupid question, how am I. Scalpel monkey!"
I've had lumps removed, Adam... empathy. One, they thought was 1/4" in diameter and just under the skin, so they injected novacaine 1/4" down. After they figured out it was the size of a walnut shell and all the way to the bone, it was too late to inject any more aneshthaesia, so they had to cut through the muscle wall with full feeling. I get to say I'm the only person I know to have had my schwanoma removed, though. Hey! My copy of the book came today! I'm going to try to wait 3 weeks to open it as a birthday present to myself.
I actually saw this while I was in the hospital and it made my day. I actually used the first one (with credit to STM) as my Facebook status the next day. Humor's how I cope, so this was great. I hope you've recovered well and all is okay.
I was just picturing STM yakking away while Adam was in surgery. 'Scalpel monkey' could have been the surgeon's new nick name.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for your recovery, Adam.
The second one cracked me up. Nice!
ReplyDeleteGet well soon, Adam. And STM.
Hopefully Adam's doing well, and the node came out clear....
ReplyDeleteWith the exception of 'scalpel monkey', I could see this on hospital gowns everywhere! Love it.
ReplyDeleteI know if it was malignant, you wouldn't be talking about it like this so I'm sure you're okay, my heart is with you... whoever you are :) <3
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've had lumps removed, Adam... empathy. One, they thought was 1/4" in diameter and just under the skin, so they injected novacaine 1/4" down. After they figured out it was the size of a walnut shell and all the way to the bone, it was too late to inject any more aneshthaesia, so they had to cut through the muscle wall with full feeling. I get to say I'm the only person I know to have had my schwanoma removed, though. Hey! My copy of the book came today! I'm going to try to wait 3 weeks to open it as a birthday present to myself.
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I actually saw this while I was in the hospital and it made my day. I actually used the first one (with credit to STM) as my Facebook status the next day. Humor's how I cope, so this was great. I hope you've recovered well and all is okay.
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